The Scale

This weekend I got up on Saturday morning and stepped on the scale. To my amazement the number was lower than the day before. I have lost 22lbs so far on this program. I got off the scale and it set the tone for the day. I felt like a winner. I was so happy and wanted to shout to the world that I had lost 22 pounds. I pretty much did shout it to the world as I plastered it all over Facebook. I went shopping for a new dress to wear to a wedding that night and I swear I stood a little bit taller. The knowledge that I had lost 22 lbs gave me the courage to try on a dress that was not plus sized. I was amazed when it fit. I was so excited as I got ready that evening. I wouldn't even let my husband see me before I was completely ready to go. I almost felt like it was MY wedding. I felt like a princess for the first time in a long time. Then the realization hit me. I was putting so much value in the scale. Don't get me wrong it is o.k. to celebrate when the pounds come off. When I get all of my weight off there is going to be a celebration like you have never seen before BUT to allow a piece of metal to dictate how you feel and set the tone for the day. That is the problem and it is such an easy problem to fall into. You see, I was already a princess. I was the princess of the ALL MIGHTY KING.  The same God that created the son, the moon, the stars, the ocean all of the things that I look at in awe, that same God created me. That alone should allow me to stand up taller, that alone should make me realize that I have value, that alone should allow me to start every day feeling good about the things to come. The scale doesn't know if I have reached out to a brother or sister in need. The scale doesn't know that I skipped the chicken tenders and cookies at my church meeting. The scale doesn't know that I did an extra work out this week just for fun. It doesn't know that I am a good mother, friend and wife, yet I allow the scale to dictate my mood. If the numbers would have increased by 2 pounds I might have, no I WOULD have, gotten discouraged and been ashamed. I would have felt fat and ugly in whatever I decided to wear to the wedding. I might not have put the effort in to getting ready and I certainly wouldn't have had the butterflies that I had while getting ready for my husband to see me. The bible clearly says not to have idols but I think one could agree that many times I have idolized the scale. This time it is different. I realize that I am the daughter of the King. I have such peace in that knowledge and I truly believe that God is healing me from my addition to food. I am so thankful that I know him and know that he loves me. No eating program would work for me without that knowledge. I am losing weight with 21 day fix but I am gaining so much more and am so very thankful.

Discovery

I decided that I was going to start blogging again. I am hoping that my story will help encourage others and help keep me on track with healthy eating and exercise. I have had so many self discoveries over the last several weeks and I know without a doubt that God is healing me from the inside out. He is helping me to discover who he designed me to be. I for years have had such a false sense of who I was and who I should be. I wasn't listening to God and studying his word in the manner in which I should. I felt like I took up too much space on this earth due to being overweight and I hated every fiber of who I was. I for years wouldn't go outside and play with my children. In fact, neighbors thought my husband was a single father. I was hiding from the world and as a result life was passing me by. I realized years ago that I was designed by the same Father that created the moon and the beautiful stars. I was crafted by my Heavenly Father and he had a plan for me. I knew it in my head but I didn't feel it in my heart. I didn't know how to change. I certainly wasn't comfortable in my own skin but wasn't sure how to change the skin I was in. Just recently a friend shared with me the 21 day fix. I know that it is changing my life. I have been on it for 34 days today and have lost 20 lbs and several inches. I am gaining so much more than the weight I am loosing. I am learning to live again. I am spending time in the word and letting the word feed me instead of reaching for cookies and any other food that would just stuff my emotions deeper inside when I didn't know what to do with them. I am allowing myself to feel and to not be afraid of actually feeling and grieving for past hurts. I know that God is with me and he will never leave me and I can face the past and the future with his guidance. I am so thankful for my friend that shared 21 day fix with me. I signed up to be a coach and it is my dream that I can help others learn from my story and reach their dreams. Won't you journey with me?